Logan's Hope
by Dark Phoenix Rising
Summary: Logan wishes for something which would make his life even more perfect, but has to realize soon that some things are just not meant to be. Or are they? One Shot. Please review too!


**Author's note: **This is a short story I came up with. I wanted to type it up before I leave for Germany. Which means in 12 hours. LOL

And I finally managed to finish it in December. LOL Thanks to Sammygirl for the help with the title!!! I changed the name of the eldest boy from Kyle to Connor, since Connor means "lover of hounds".

Hope you like it and please review!!!

**Logan's hope**

It was a sunny and warm day that Logan spent in the garden with doing what he enjoyed the most – sitting in the grass and watching his sons chasing each other, while they tried to dumb water balloons on each other. Only shaking his head when Taylor, with 5 the youngest of them, leapt at Jaden from behind who got help by his twin brother Jake. The two 7 year olds laughed aloud when their youngest brother got hit by three balloons and looked like a drowned dog afterwards. But it was for Logan to laugh when their 9 year old brother Connor, who had climbed up and into a tree, dropped his bombs right onto them. He could only shake his head and exhaled the smoke from his cigar before he threw it away. It was typical for the oldest one to play dirty if he had the chance to do so. Still chuckling, Logan watched the water balloon fight for a while longer and couldn't help but feel lucky once more. He had four beautiful sons that looked all like identical copies of him, an amazing wife on his side and was probably the happiest man on this planet when it came to his family.

Never before had he even dared to imagine that he, the big bad Wolverine, who loved cage fights, cigars and drinking and lived from the money that he made with the fights, would have a home and family ever in his life. Even if the first child wasn't planned at all and he had disappeared for nearly a week after finding out about his girl being pregnant, he now couldn't imagine living without them. Of course Jean's full wrath had hit him when he had decided to go back to the mansion…

"Hey," Logan smiled and looked up when Jean came closer to join him.

"Hi," she smiled back and sat down between his legs with his help. "What are they doing?" she asked with a look at her sons and shook her head. "That again?"

"What else?" he smirked and wrapped both arms around her before he nuzzled her with his nose and rested his head on her shoulder. "Ya know'em, don't ya?"

"No, I know their father," Jean replied and leant back against his chest.

"Whatever…," Logan grunted and stroked over her side. "When's the appointment?"

"Before dinner," she yawned and snuggled more into his embrace.

Nodding, he easily figured that she was tired. "C'mon, I help ya upstairs." Pulling her up with him, he gave his boys another look before he walked her back to their room. "Lie down," he whispered and tucked her in after she did so.

"Stay here," Jean mumbled and held onto his hand; smiling satisfied when he lay down behind her and pulled her close. After placing his hand onto her belly she closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into his embrace.

While holding her and stroking over her belly, Logan concentrated his senses on the new life within her. Even if he knew he would love this child no matter what, he prayed to every higher being that it wasn't another boy. All the girls already kept on annoying him with demanding from him to show his mushy side and that he would even become softer when it was a girl. So, curious as he was, he wanted to figure out if he even had something like a mushy side. Because he couldn't imagine that he would treat a girl any different than his rugrats. Heaving a deep breath, he placed a kiss on Jean's neck and decided that a nap before dinner sounded good to him.

* * *

Lucky as he was, he overslept and Jean had already gone to the appointment without him. Now sitting in the kitchen with the others, he had already wolfed down his food and stared impatiently at the door, while the others kept on exchanging looks and wondered why he behaved so strangely. After what appeared to have been an endless and torturous eternity to him, his nose finally picked up on her scent and he could hear the elevator doors opening at the end of the corridor. Again he began to pray that the child wasn't another boy but the girl they wanted to have and ignored the weird looks his behavior earned him. Getting more and more nervous, he began to even think about running down the corridor to meet his wife on her way to the kitchen. As he was about to do it she finally entered the room and he instantly began to try and read her face. "Hey…," Jean smiled and pulled him into a brief kiss before she sat down next to him. 

While she ate her dinner and kept on talking to the others and her boys, he watched her from aside and still tried to figure out what Hank had probably told her. She was due in less than two months and up to now their baby had done its best to hide the gender and he had enough of hoping and praying that it wasn't another copy of him. "So?" he asked and gave her his best _tell-me-now-or-I'm-gonna-kill-ya_-look.

"Everything's fine…," Jean mumbled and sipped on her water; frowning at him when he groaned.

"And?!" Logan asked next and rolled his eyes. Looking at her a bit longer, everyone startled when he slammed his fist onto the counter. "No!" he said aloud and met her gaze. "You've gotta be kiddin' me!"

"What's wrong?" Ororo asked and looked to and fro between them.

"I don't wanna have another one!" Logan went on, ignoring her and the others on purpose.

"Well, we can't change it, can we?" Jean said in a calm voice and looked up just to see everyone frowning and staring. "Hank said it looks like another boy…," she informed them and received nods and groans in return.

"Why?!" Logan cried and ran a hand through his hair.

"Well…," Hank said and entered the room. "Actually it's you who is responsible for the gender of the baby."

"Why me?!"

"Because your cells decide the gender," he smiled and Logan rolled his eyes.

Feeling mad, disappointed and sad at the same time, he remained next to Jean with his arms crossed until dinner was over and even on the way back to their rooms his mood didn't change. In fact, it only got worse. As soon as they had entered the room he sat down on the sofa and waited for his boys to prepare for bed. "Night," he said and gave each of them a kiss and hug.

"Night, daddy," the twins said in unison and ran over to their room, still chasing each other. He heard how the jumped onto their beds and laughed aloud.

"Night," Connor and Taylor said and disappeared into their rooms and Logan got slowly up. Since the children were born he and Jean always said goodnight together and tucked them in, and even if his mood was destroyed and he wanted to bury himself somewhere in the garden and never re-appear again, he didn't want to disappoint his boys.

After he and his wife had closed the door to the bedrooms, he instantly walked into the bathroom, changed and disappeared into the bedroom. He pulled the sheets up to his ears and glared at the wall, not feeling like talking to or seeing someone. With his arms crossed and legs pulled close he still sulked when Jean entered and lay down next to him. It was easy for her to pick up on his feelings and she reached out to stroke over his back. She knew how much he had wanted a girl. "Logan…," Jean began but he didn't turn around.

"What did I do t'piss ya off?!" he grunted and she sighed.

"I know that you're disappointed…," she said and was about to stroke his back again when he turned around.

"I ain't disappointed, I'm devastated!" he sulked and broke eye contact. "Can't ya do somethin'?"

"How?" Jean asked and frowned.

"I don't know… Change it with your powers or somethin'?!"

She groaned. "Logan… The baby is healthy and looks fine. That's the most important thing!"

"Yeah, and he will have my healin' factor and my looks, so we'll have 5 boys that look like me. Great!" Logan sulked and pulled the sheets higher. Yeah, his mood could get even worse… "I'm gonna kill this damn stork when he arrives here…," he mumbled and, even if she knew it was the wrong time for it, the redhead smiled weakly.

She moved a bit closer and wrapped her arms around him. "Then we have 5 boys, who'll look as good as their father later…"

"So ya admit it that ya have somethin' t'do with it?!" Jean heard him growling and sighed. "I don't wanna have another me, I wanna have a lil' baby girl that looks like ya! I'd even paint a whole fuckin' room pink…"

"Maybe…I don't know…," she said and drew circles on his chest with her finger. "Maybe we can adopt a girl…"

"This ain't the same, Jean," Logan grunted and was sulking again. "Don't tell me we have t'try….again," he said annoyed and glared at her.

Not saying anything at all, she placed a kiss onto his mouth and switched off the lights with her mind. "Night…," Jean mumbled into his chest and snuggled up to him as he could. When she was already deeply asleep, Logan lay still awake, with her in his arm and stared at the ceiling. He really couldn't believe how much higher beings must hate him that they even refused to grand him his wish. In fact he was angry at his little friends, finally it was their fault. Determined to glare at the boy as soon as he was born, he heaved a deep breath and snuggled up to Jean; one hand resting protectively on her belly. He couldn't believe that he had to pick another male name…

* * *

Sulking, growling, glaring and being grumpy were Logan's favorite ways to communicate in the next weeks and picking a name for a boy didn't change his mood at all. He did his best to distract him from what was going to happen and spent one day next to his bike in the garage, while Jean watched TV in the rec-room and their boys did what they loved the most: chasing each other trough the mansion. 

"What's wrong with Logan?" Ororo asked and sipped on her soda. "He seems to be upset for weeks…"

The redhead waved off. "You know him…"

"Yeah, but…he seems to be really upset lately," her friend replied and looked at her from aside; noticing that Jean shifted her position once more. "He seems to be sad without showing it. Is something wrong with the baby?"

"No, the baby's fine," the woman next to her said and made Ororo frown.

"Is something wrong? You seem to feel uncomfortable?" she asked concerned and put the glass onto the table.

"I do for the past three months, 'Ro," Jean replied and gave her friend a look. "And that means sleeping, walking and sitting included…" She stroked over her huge belly and sighed. "I hope the baby soon begins to feel uncomfortable, too…," she sighed and leant her head back. "I'm so glad Logan helps me with everything…"

"That hard, huh?"

"You bet!"

Ororo smiled and rested her head on her arm. "Well…considering that Logan had disappeared for a week after you told him you were pregnant with Connor…"

"Oh, don't even mention that!" Jean said in an instant. "I would have loved to kill him!"

Giggling, the woman next to her nodded. "Not only you… But well…he felt sorry enough afterwards, didn't he?"

"I'll never understand men," the redhead said and shook her head. "I mean… We've talked about children before. Logan has said that he'd never thought about having some, but that this was before he had a home and that he can imagine having a child with me. And as soon as I tell him that I'm pregnant he leaves…"

"Did he say why?" Ororo asked but raised a hand. "No, no, no… Let me guess! He got scared!"

"And he was shocked," the redhead nodded, which made the weather goddess giggle.

"Well… I doubt not as shocked as about the stools you've sent after him when he came back, right?" she asked. "God, I wished I had a camera back then… It was too funny!"

Nodding, Jean pulled a face and groaned when her back began to hurt again. "And this isn't funny at all…," she cried and shifted her position once more. After covering her eyes with one hand and leaning back, Jean waited for the pain in her back to cease but had to notice that it became even stronger. "'Ro…," she said and her friend, who had just sipped on her glass, looked at her. "I think the baby's a good listener…"

"Why?" Ororo asked and had one eyebrow raised.

* * *

"You're a real sourpuss, Logan," Scott complained and continued to work on his car. "Your mood is terrible in the past days. I'm wondering how Jean can endure your mood swings…" 

"I'm pregnant, so I'm allowed t'do that, One Eye!" Logan grunted under his bike and cursed when he cut into his hand. "Fuck!"

"Pregnant, huh?" he heard the other man asking and glared at him when Scott looked around the corner with a nasty grin on his lips. "And I thought you only ate too much lately… Is that the reason why you refuse to wear your uniform lately? Gained some weight, huh?"

"Fuck you, Scooter!" Logan snapped and got up to wipe his hands on a towel. Seeing that the man was still smiling, he wanted to reply something when the door opened and Ororo appeared. "What?!" he asked annoyed and hoped Jean didn't want to have the Oreo ice crème again for which he had to drive to who knows where.

Scott only shook his head and sighed. "I guess she wants to tell you that the baby is coming, dumbass," he mocked and received a glare, which quickly vanished on Logan's face when the man saw that Ororo, who still tried to catcher breath, nodded.

* * *

Before Logan was even able to realize what was happening, he already sat next to Jean in the infirmary and was holding her hand. Even if his senses were fully focused on her he nevertheless got annoyed by Hank and Ororo, who both tried to soothe them and kept on saying that everything was fine. And that over and over again. He was too much lost in his own thoughts that he hardly noticed what was happening around him until his senses forced him to focus on something. With furrowed brows Logan snapped out of his trance and looked to and fro between Ororo. 

"I can't believe it!" the woman said and made him cock an eyebrow. "Your wife is doing all the work and you are dreaming!"

"Ain't dreamin'," he grunted and narrowed his eyes when Hank crossed his arms.

"No, of course not!" the man replied and shook his head. "For the fifth time, Logan. Congratulation!"

"For what?!" Logan asked in confusion and, since his two friends only shook their heads and turned, decided to give Jean a look. His eyes widened a bit when he noticed the small being on her chest and couldn't believe that he had been too far gone to notice it at all.

"How about cleaning your baby, Logan, so that Jean can rest after doing all the work?" Hank suggested with a wink at Jean, who only smiled and handed the bundle over to her husband.

"But be careful!" she warned him and received a look.

"I've always been careful with my kids, Red!" Logan grunted and rolled his eyes. He looked at the baby in his arms while he walked over to the small bathtub. The hair was definitely light, nearly blonde, and not as dark as his other boys had when they'd been born and the boy also felt lighter in his arms. Knowing what to do, Logan pulled the boy gently out of the bloody and wet blanket and supported him with one arm while he washed off the blood from the skin. Even if he was still disappointed, he couldn't hide that he was proud and smiled at the baby, just to frown next…

* * *

"Everything's fine," Hank told Jean and smiled at the redhead, who was still exhausted and felt tired, even if it had taken hardly 5 hours and not 32 as it had the first time. She still remembered too well how often she had wanted to give up… "I will check on the little one as soon as the father is done with…" 

They startled when a door was suddenly pushed open and a pissed looking Logan appeared with the baby on his arm. "Ya knew that didn't ya?!" he growled and the three mutants could easily tell that he was angry.

Jean swallowed. She hadn't expected him to react like this. "I…I wanted to surprise you…," she said in barely more than a whisper and tensed her muscles when he came closer.

"Surprise me?!" he growled and narrowed his eyes.

"Yes," she shrugged. "But it became hard to keep it a secret after I saw how disappointed you were…" Hearing how he snorted, she reached out to take his hand. "Logan,…," Jean said in a voice that usually soothed him. "I'm sorry… I told 'Ro and Hank not to tell you anything. So stop seizing them up for coffin, it was my fault…"

"Great surprise…," he mumbled and cradled the baby in his arms, still sulking. "Ya nearly gave me a heart attack…" His eyes softened instantly when the baby wrapped one finger around his and he smiled warmly, before he sat down on the edge of the bed and had eyes only for the small being in his arms.

"Logan, if you don't mind," Hank said and took the baby into his arms first, before he left with Ororo.

"Liar!" Logan said and glared at his wife, who pulled him back so that he was lying on the bed next to her. "I hate ya, I hope ya know that!"

"I'm sorry!" Jean pouted and wrapped her arms around him. "Can I soothe you at least a bit when I tell you that I felt bad for keeping it a secret?"

"No!" he grunted and crossed his arms; still trying to keep his anger up. But since his heart was bursting with joy, he couldn't do it. Turning his head and looking at his wife, who had fallen asleep against him, Logan smiled happily and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I love ya…," he whispered and stroked over her cheek lovingly.

"Mhm…," Jean made and snuggled closer.

"Everything's fine," Ororo suddenly said next to him and smiled when she noticed how much his eyes sparkled with joy. "You know," she added after watching how he cradled the baby in his arms again. "Just to see that smile on your face, you should become a father everyday."

"Mhm…," Logan made and nuzzled his daughter's cheek lovingly, completely ignoring the woman next to him. His eyes were fixed on the little girl and he couldn't help but smile proudly and happily again.

"Logan?" Hank asked once more and shook his head, since the man wasn't reacting at all. "You can stare at your baby-girl as long as you wish. Just give me a name, so that I can finish with the papers…"

"He doesn't hear you," Ororo winked with a smile and turned to walk over to the door. She wanted to spread the news that the girls finally had their mushy Wolverine, but also that Jean and the girl were fine and that she assumed that speaking to Logan in the next days would be a waste of breath. She knew the man was too focused on his _lil'darlin' _that he wouldn't be aware of his surroundings for a couple of days. Smiling at the thought of a speechless and goofy smiling Logan, she shook her head and knew that the girl would grow up well protected by daddy Wolverine. Everyone in the mansion was well aware of how much Logan made sure that his children were safe and Ororo just knew that he would be worse with the daughter he had wanted for years. She gave him one last look before she left the infirmary and headed for the elevator.

"So?" Hank sighed and couldn't hide his amusement that a little girl had really managed to shut up the grumpy Wolverine.

"Hope…," Logan finally said without looking up and caressed the cheek of his baby-girl

"Hope?!" Hank asked surprised and received a sly grin.

"Coz now my hope's not dead that we can have baby-girls," Logan smirked and before the furry mutant could reply something, concentrated on his sleeping daughter again.

**I know it's nothing special but I hope some of you will like it anyway. Please review!!!**


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